The Bridge - A Metaphor by Edwin Friedman

There was a man who had given much thought to what he wantedfrom life. He had experienced many moods and trials. He hadexperimented with different ways of living, and he had had hisshare of both success and failure. At last, he began to seeclearly where he wanted to go.Diligently, he searched for the right opportunity. Sometimes hecame close, only to be pushed away. Often he applied all hisstrength and imagination, only to find the path hopelesslyblocked. And then at last it came. But the opportunity would notwait. It would be made available only for a short time. If itwere seen that he was not committed, the opportunity would notcome again.Eager to arrive, he started on his journey. With each step, hewanted to move faster; with each thought about his goal, hisheart beat quicker; with each vision of what lay ahead, he foundrenewed vigor. Strength that had left him since his early youthreturned, and desires, all kinds of desires, reawakened fromtheir long-dormant positions.Hurrying along, he came upon a bridge that crossed through themiddle of a town. It had been built high above a river in orderto protect it from the floods of spring.He started across. Then he noticed someone coming from theopposite direction. As they moved closer, it seemed as thoughthe other was coming to greet him. He could see clearly,however, that he did not know this other, who was dressedsimilarly except for something tied around his waist.When they were within hailing distance, he could see that whatthe other had about his waist was a rope. It was wrapped aroundhim many times and probably, if extended, would reach a lengthof 30 feet.The other began to uncurl the rope, and, just as they werecoming close, the stranger said, "Pardon me, would you be sokind as to hold the end a moment?"Surprised by this politely phrased but curious request, heagreed without a thought, reached out, and took it."Thank you," said the other, who then added, "two hands now, andremember, hold tight." Whereupon, the other jumped off the bridge.Quickly, the free-falling body hurtled the distance of the ropeslength, and from the bridge the man abruptly felt the pull.Instinctively, he held tight and was almost dragged over theside. He managed to brace himself against the edge, however, andafter having caught his breath, looked down at the otherdangling, close to oblivion."What are you trying to do?" he yelled."Just hold tight," said the other."This is ridiculous," the man thought and began trying to haulthe other in. He could not get the leverage, however. It was asthough the weight of the other person and the length of the ropehad been carefully calculated in advance so that together theycreated a counterweight just beyond his strength to bring theother back to safety."Why did you do this?" the man called out."Remember," said the other, "if you let go, I will be lost.""But I cannot pull you up," the man cried."I am your responsibility," said the other."Well, I did not ask for it," the man said."If you let go, I am lost," repeated the other.He began to look around for help. But there was no one. Howlong would he have to wait? Why did this happen to befall himnow, just as he was on the verge of true success? He examinedthe side, searching for a place to tie the rope. Someprotrusion, perhaps, or maybe a hole in the boards. But therailing was unusually uniform in shape; there were no spacesbetween the boards. There was no way to get rid of this newfoundburden, even temporarily."What do you want?" he asked the other hanging below."Just your help," the other answered."How can I help? I cannot pull you in, and there is no place totie the rope so that I can go and find someone to help me help you.""I know that. Just hang on; that will be enough. Tie the ropearound your waist; it will be easier."Fearing that his arms could not hold out much longer, he tiedthe rope around his waist."Why did you do this?" he asked again. "Don't you see what youhave done? What possible purpose could you have had in mind?""Just remember," said the other, "my life is in your hands."What should he do? "If I let go, all my life I will know that Ilet this other die. If I stay, I risk losing my momentum towardmy own long-sought-after salvation. Either way this will hauntme forever."With ironic humor he thought to die himself, instantly, to jumpoff the bridge while still holding on. "That would teach thisfool." But he wanted to live and to live life fully. "What achoice I have to make; how shall I ever decide?"As time went by, still no one came. The critical moment ofdecision was drawing near. To show his commitment to his owngoals, he would have to continue on his journey now. It wasalready almost too late to arrive in time. But what a terriblechoice to have to make.A new thought occurred to him. While he could not pull thisother up solely by his own efforts, if the other would shortenthe rope from his end by curling it around his waist again andagain, together they could do it. Actually, the other could doit by himself, so long as he, standing on the bridge, kept itstill and steady."Now listen," he shouted down. "I think I know how to save you."And he explained his plan.But the other wasn't interested."You mean you won't help? But I told you I cannot pull you up bymyself, and I don't think I can hang on much longer either.""You must try," the other shouted back in tears. "If you fail, Idie."The point of decision arrived. What should he do? "My life orthis other's?" And then a new idea. A revelation. So new, infact, it seemed heretical, so alien was it to his traditionalway of thinking."I want you to listen to me carefully," he said, "because I meanwhat I am about to say. I will not accept the position of choicefor your life, only for my own; the position of choice for yourown life I hereby give back to you.""What do you mean?" the other asked, afraid."I mean, simply, it's up to you. You decide which way this ends.I will become the counterweight. You do the pulling and bringyourself up. I will even tug a little from here." He beganunwinding the rope from around his waist and braced himself anewagainst the side."You cannot mean what you say," the other shrieked. "You wouldnot be so selfish. I am your responsibility. What could be soimportant that you would let someone die? Do not do this to me."He waited a moment. There was no change in the tension of the rope."I accept your choice," he said, at last, and freed his hands.--From "FRIEDMAN'S FABLES" by Edwin Friedman,published by Guilford Press

Wisdom of the Crowd

The fastest and largest computer in the world processes 10 to the 16th bits per second. This happens to be the same speed of the human brain. The difference is that the computer uses 1.5 megawatts per hour which is the equivalent energy of 1,200 US house holds.

When considering that all of your employees, team mates, bosses have this level of horse power in there heads and it is not only you, are you taking full advantage of their processing ability?

How long does it take to get a team to agree on four words?

Way longer then you would imagine. As part of strategic planning exercise with organization I always have a team begin with a values exercise to determine what the core values of the business stakeholders are and align those values among those team members. Regardless of whether the organization has pre-determined set of stated values or not the variety of values that surface from the paritisipating team members is amazing.

Amazing because very few of the values that originate during the individual accumulation process are the same among the senior team members. It is no wonder that many organizations are feeling stretched by the arrays of values, being espoused by their leadership team.

Over the course of approximately 4 hours with vigerous discussion the team will arrive at 3 or 4 values with agreed definitions. These values are always in priority order.

What is interesting is that no matter what the objections to the process – typically because of commitment phobia (Team members struggle with the reduction process of going from many values down to very few) – They buckle down and feel good & relieved by their achievement. Typically they feel the lack of originality to the ones values they chose. That is until I ask them the questions that resolve them to the act of signing in blood (OK no blood is drawn) with their words. It is not only the values that they have chosen, it is additionally the prioritization, and the meaning making they do as a team in their team’s discovery.

When a team takes 3 to 4 hours to arrive at 4 words think how much other communication is likely inherently not aligned among organizations stakeholders – especially given the speed in which we do business today.

Which employee has what it takes?

Last night my wife and I went out to dinner on Lake Minnetonka. We pulled up to the restaurant via boat. There was a wait to find a spot. One of the dock guys says, "just wait your turn it will go a lot faster for you than staying close to this side of the dock." The other dock guy says, "I will work with you and find you a spot." He adds, "I am going to move this boat forward and you pull in right behind." The original dock guy simply looks down an realizes he was not solving the customers problem - finding more space to park. Needless to say the one who helped got a big tip from us and I have little doubt he is the gross and net winner of tips overall! How do you spot that talent and initiative early and develop those people to be the culture of your organization?